Nurse Reveals Top 5 Regrets People Make on Their Death Bed

This is a blog post from a nurse that worked in Palliative Care for many years and divulges the Top 5 regrets people make on their death bed.

…this article hit me very hard because its something that I’m so passionate about.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been a dreamer and have always thought of things larger than life.

It pains me knowing that there are so many people out there that simply do not go after what they really want in life, or put it off saying that they will ‘get to it later’ and then 50 years flies by and its too late… and that dismal look of regret and disappointment is burned into their expression and weighs on them like a burden.

Go after what you really want in life because the ONLY time is NOW.

Enjoy :)

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Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

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Life is a choice…

It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

You can choose at any moment, on any given day, to change your life… and live the life you deserve.

I chose to do it through online marketing because I can be set me free of time and location, so that I can travel the world and still have an income coming in.

When will you decide to go after what you REALLY want in life?

Please like and share this post if you enjoyed and think it can make an impact on someone in your life 🙂

…you can check out the original article here

6 thoughts on “Nurse Reveals Top 5 Regrets People Make on Their Death Bed

  1. Daniel Dow says:

    Hi Paula 🙂 I am sure he will. Just keep positive thoughts and healing love in the atmosphere. And stay strong yourself. You too have a Great week! Thanks! 😀
    Daniel

  2. Hi Daniel, I’ll have a read, so thank you. He was really hopeful last week and now since the last lot of chemo? he’s kind of lost a little of the drive to make it. I know it’s just a temporary thing as the chemo knocks you about a fair bit. I think in a few days time he’ll start to perk up again. 🙂 Have a good week, hugs Paula xxxx

  3. Daniel Dow says:

    Hi Paula! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment… and please thank the lovely Melanie for me 🙂 He is absolutely right! Be happy, see all the wonderful things in life, the beautiful things, the love. And most of all Love Yourself, appreciate yourself, stay strong. You are a beautiful human being and god loves you! I am sorry to hear about your father… have you looked into alternative medicine? There are tons of information online about food that can help heal, if not heal cancer. I am a firm believer in natural healing and it is one of my strong passions. Also, I wrote a blog post about it — http://daniel-dow.com/the-truth-about-cancer/ — if you would like to read it. 🙂 I am no doctor so don’t take it from me but I recommend you research the following for cancer treatment– cannibus oil, reishi mushrooms, green tea, soursop fruit (just a few off the top of the head) Anyways, I wish you and your father all the best! Take care Paula 🙂 Love, Daniel

  4. What a great post. I was sent this link by the lovely Melanie! 🙂
    My step dad has cancer and is in the process of chemo. They don’t know if it will make a difference but he wants to try. 🙂 I’m really proud of his determination to try and win. He tells me everyday to live and not care what anyone else thinks, just be happy and true to myself. I’m Bipolar and he’s my greatest supporter. I will be lost without him. Im definitely number 1 on the top of this list, and would so love to change that! 🙂 I’m trying. Hugs Paula xxxxx

  5. Daniel Dow says:

    Absolutely. You are welcome Liz! 😀

  6. makingmidlifemarvellous says:

    A great reminder of what we are all here for. Thanks for posting 🙂

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